This is
10 Jan: Ann, Dad and Molly go to Bill’s house in
the afternoon to see if he is okay. He
has been reclusive since everyone has been concerned about his health; but he
does not answer the door. A locksmith
and police are called. Once they get into the house, Bill is in the Rec Room,
lying on the couch, unconscious.
Bill is taken by ambulance to
They are asking about Bill taking medicine and are very interested in
whether he takes Tylenol, which can severely harm the liver. They tell us that someone needs to go through
his house and see if he has anything that would contain Tylenol. I volunteered and went through everything; I
only found some aspirin in his bathroom.
There were some empty bottles of Nyquil in the trash, so it is assumed
that was the cause of Tylenol in his system.
I think everyone is in shock over the news; it is hard to believe Bill
is so sick.
By 10 PM Bill’s condition is much worse and is transferred to the
Intensive Care Unit. Bill is comatose
and not responding. He is wearing a neck
brace that the paramedics put on him when they found him at the house. They do that as a precaution, since they did
not know if he was in that condition on his own, or if he was attacked. It makes him look very uncomfortable, and the
nurses tell me they can not take it off until after he gets a neck x-ray to
make sure he did not get any trauma to that area.
Bill is bleeding internally, causing his BP to be low, and cannot
breathe on his own. Dr. Levinson, a
Gastroenterologist, is convinced that Bill has cirrhosis of the liver, and that
is causing the bleeding, which is coming from the esophagus (variceal bleeding). She describes a procedure that will stop the
bleeding by injecting a drug into the veins to contract them (endoscopic
sclerotherapy). She says she needs to
wait until he is more stable before performing the procedure, hopefully
sometime during the next 12 hours.
11 Jan: Dr. Levinson calls at 4 AM to say that she
has performed the procedure, but she could find no bleeding from the esophagus. This rules out cirrhosis of the liver. The bleeding is most likely coming from the
stomach, but the endoscopic sclerotherapy procedure is not effective in the
stomach.
At the hospital in the morning Bill is comatose and hooked up to life
support. He is loosing a lot of blood
and the liver is not producing the coagulants necessary to stop bleeding. Dr. Kim tells me he is “bleeding like a
sieve”. The doctors tell us that his
only hope is to get a liver transplant; his is barely functioning which has strained
his other organs and they are not functioning properly. They are trying to get Bill admitted to
In the afternoon the doctors are telling us that they are trying to get
Bill admitted to
When I arrive at
12 Jan: We wait at the hospital for most of the day
and spend time visiting Bill and reading the newspaper to him. There is no more information on his
condition, other than it is not improving.
The liver procedure mentioned above is not an option, due to how bad his
condition is. The doctors do not believe
it will do any good. Bill is still
comatose and bleeding internally, he is connected to a ventilator; they are
using medication to keep his BP at a safe level. His abdomen is swollen with fluid (ascites)
and there is considerable swelling in his legs (edema). They have his legs in pressure cuffs, which
inflate periodically in order to keep his circulation going to his extremities.
Sook and Melissa came down to visit and attempt to give Bill
encouragement. We hope that he can hear
everyone who is visiting, but he is not responsive at all.
Cousin Frank Flynn and Aunt Kit also come down to visit this
evening. It is very comforting to have
them there, even though he is not responsive.
We spend much of the day letting everyone know about Bill’s condition
and to come and see he him ASAP as the doctors told us. It is hard to believe how messed up he is.
13 Jan: There was more waiting at the hospital,
with no more information from the doctors.
They continue to monitor Bill’s condition to see if he responds to the
treatments they are giving him. Doug
Watts came to visit and so did Tom and Stephanie Flynn. In the evening the doctors brought the family
into a consulting room and explained that Bill is not responding to the
treatment, and may not have much time left.
There will have to be a decision to stop treating his illness and begin
trying to make him comfortable, which means he is going to die.
The doctors tell us that they think Bill is suffering from auto-immune
hepatitis. This condition is when the body attacks the liver. It is usually triggered by an “event” they
tell us. They said the event could have been taking Tylenol, drinking alcohol,
or another means.
Molly and Colin Flynn came down to visit with the family this evening
and it was a nice visit. I just cannot
believe how messed up Bill is. It is hard to believe someone his age can have
so many things going wrong.
The main question is what the doctors are looking for as a sign of
improvement and the answer is they have been hoping that his kidney functions
would have improved by now. We ask if
there is still hope that he may improve and the doctor says that if there is no
improvement by the end of the week, there would be no real chance of Bill
surviving. We agree to wait until the
end of the week, but I don’t have much hope.
The weight of what is happening is incredible; it is hard to get much
sleep at night. I have a recurring dream
when I do sleep, with Bill in it, and he is perfectly normal and everything is
okay. Waking up brings the reality back to me.
14 Jan: It appears that Bill is more responsive
today. Though his eyes are closed, he
seems to try and open his eyes and is moving his head and arms. They were able to drain the excess fluid from
his abdomen and at the same time x-ray his neck. There was no damage to his neck, so the brace
was removed. This makes me feel better
because it made him look much more comfortable.
The ICU nurse says that he is beginning to breathe on his own, and the
ventilator is doing less of the work.
Sook and Melissa come down to visit in the morning. The internal
bleeding is also beginning to stop.
I leave the hospital for home that evening, need to get more clothes and
meet with a lawyer to get a Will and Power of Attorney documents drafted. The optimism is coming back, and everyone is
feeling better.
15 Jan: At home in
16 Jan: I took Bill’s SeaDoo down to the lake so we
could get his truck into the garage at his house, so it will help with parking
(a major issue in his neighborhood). I
speak to Walt and Kay about how their visit went, and it is great to hear from
them the improvement in Bill’s condition.
I then leave for
At the hospital I see Andy Sand, Iggy Dauchot, Lila Edy, and Ross
Fischer. They have all come from out of town to visit Bill. I go into Bill’s room in the ICU with
Ross. Bill seemed to recognize both of
us immediately. Bill said something to
Ross, but I could not understand what was said, but Ross just laughed. Bill was very weak, but had his sense of
humor. He sometimes has trouble making
sense when he talks, but moments later will seem quite lucid. They brought his dinner into his room while
we were visiting him, and he could not feed himself because his hands were
shaking so much. I fed him, and he
opened his mouth just like Alex at the end of the movie “A Clockwork Orange”.
Ross had to catch a flight back to
Jan 17: We all spent the day in the hospital with
Bill. He was moved out of the ICU and
into a ward for kidney and liver patients.
He’s got a roommate and there is not enough room for all of us to be in
the room at the same time, but it is less busy than the ICU. Bill is doing better than the day before, he
seems more lucid – he makes much more sense when he talks. He is only hooked up to oxygen, no IVs. He is still weak and his hands are still
shaky. Dad and Molly are visiting with
him when I get there. At one point they
left the room to take a break and Bill looked at me and said “Well, Tom. I
really f***ed up this time…”. All I
could say is that he needs to focus on getting better. I did not know what else to say, and now wish
that I could have said something that could have helped him.
We talked to a new doctor, Alan Rodgers, and he indicated that even
though Bill was doing much better, he had a long way to go before even thinking
about a new liver. He also indicated to
me that he would be in the hospital for a while, and indicated that he knew
that Bill being in
Jan
18: Dad and Molly came
to the hospital in the morning and said goodbye to Bill. They were heading back to Pinehurst to do
laundry and get some rest before coming back up. Andy, Iggy, and Lila were in the room when
Dr. Rodgers came in and said that Bill could be discharged and go home
today. When he saw the shock in my eyes,
he quickly asked if going home tomorrow would be better. I said it would, so that we could figure out
how to take care of him.
Bill’s condition continued to improve. He was eating and going to the
bathroom on his own. He needed some
assistance to walk, but that was it.
Most of the day was spent visiting with Bill and watching football on
TV. Andy, Iggy, and Lila all flew back
home in the afternoon. Everyone was
feeling very good about Bill’s condition and his chances for recovery. It was a great feeling, like much of the
weight was lifted.
The rest of us discussed what we should do with Bill tomorrow. Bill wanted to be at his house, but we did
not think that he could make it up the stairs to his bedroom. If he had to stay in the rec room, he did not
have a shower in that bathroom.
Unfortunately nobody else’s house had a better configuration, so it was
agreed that Bill would go back to his house.
I went back to
Jan 19: I went over to Bill’s house after work to
see how he was doing. He was on the
couch watching TV and had the fireplace going full-blast. He agreed that he would not be able to make
it up the stairs, and seemed perfectly happy on the couch. The hospital gave him a cane to assist him
with walking and he seemed very comfortable with it. Ann and Nancy had all the doctors’
instructions and the prescriptions, but their concern was they did not really
give much direction on how to care for him, other than the prescriptions. They planned to stay with Bill for the
duration. Bill is not eating a whole
lot, but he just does not require much.
His water is rationed, due to the limited function of the kidneys, and
he is not happy about that. He suspects
that Ann and Nancy are holding back some of his water rations…
Melissa and Joon came over to visit for a while. Joon helped out by going to the drug store
and buying Bill some
Jan 21: I went to Bill’s house to visit after
work. He is in good spirits and shows me
that he can get up and go to the bathroom without assistance, other than with
his cane. On his way back to the
bathroom, he even does a little dance with his cane, pretending that he is Fred
Astaire.
Bill hates taking one prescription, which he has to take 3 times a
day. It is to help clean his body out
since the liver and kidneys are not doing their job. The problem is he has to hurry to the
bathroom soon after taking it. It is a
regular struggle for Ann and Nancy to get him to take the medicine, but he does
so anyway. He is being a good patient,
and it is inspiring to see how well his disposition is, knowing how badly he
must feel. He is truly fighting for his
life, and knows it, but seems to be doing his best to make everyone else feel at
ease with the situation.
In talking to Ann and Nancy, they are getting concerned that they have
such little information on what to do for Bill.
He is doing fine, but it does seem like there should be more we should
be doing to help him get better. I think
we are all starting to wonder about the long-term chances Bill has.
Jan 23: I left work early to visit Bill today. When I got there he had a physical therapist
evaluating him. She was surprised that
she was the first healthcare person to see Bill all week. She took his blood pressure and it was very
low. She also thought that the
conditions of his legs and abdomen were not good and said that we should
contact the doctor. That afternoon Ann
began to try to contact the doctor. The
therapist gave Bill some exercises to do and left.
The therapist also said that we should be monitoring his weight, but
Bill did not have a scale. I went out to
get him a scale and other items: a shower stool for when we could get him up
the stairs and a back/leg massager for when he is on the couch. When I got back we set him up with the
massager, and he loved it. Unfortunately
he did not get much time to enjoy it.
Late in the afternoon Bill’s doctor at
Ann and I got him to the hospital and they quickly admitted him, and
began to hook him up to IVs and monitors.
I noticed at the hospital that he seemed to be kind of groggy and less
lucid that he was in the middle of the day.
Dr. Asia, who treated him in the emergency room the last time he was
there came by and did an initial examination.
Once all the paperwork was done and the emergency room evaluation
complete Bill was moved back up into the ICU.
What started out okay, turned into a very bad day…
Jan
24: I went to the
hospital first thing in the morning.
Bill was awake and seemed to be doing fine, better than the night
before. His blood pressure was still
low, but was receiving medication to elevate it. The main problem he had that morning was the
need to go to the bathroom. With all the
wires and hoses connected to him, he could not get out of the bed. The nurse helped him with the pressing need.
The bigger problem is when they told him that he will need to be
catheterized. It was painfully obvious
that Bill was not happy when he heard that news; he made it known in his own
way – with humor.
The nurses told me that the blood tests came
back and indicated that Bill had acetaminophen in his system, and asked how he
would have access to Tylenol. I knew for
a fact that he had none in his house; since I had searched it the first time
Bill went into the hospital. When I
talked to Ann she said that she did have some Tylenol PM in her backpack, but
she never had her backpack open or took it out while she was there with him –
it seemed hard to believe Bill would have taken it, especially since he was
rarely alone. They were giving Bill medicine
to take the Tylenol out of his system, since if it stayed there it would
further damage his liver.
Roger came by later in the morning and we
hung out with Bill, watching ESPN Classic, which Bill said was making his
hospital stay bearable. That afternoon
the channel showed the 1985 Purdue –
I went back to the hospital that evening to
check in with Bill, for some reason I had a really bad feeling, and had to see
Bill. At that time Sook, Melissa, and
Joon were there with him. He seemed very
tired, and when he tried to talk it was hard to understand him. I did not stay long, but the rest of them
stayed to keep him company.
Jan
25: Bill seemed about
the same as the day before. The doctors
said they were planning to put him on dialysis to see if that would make him
feel better. They also wanted to drain more fluid from his abdomen. His blood pressure continued to improve. They began giving Bill plasma to help
maintain his blood pressure. He does not look like he is going anywhere
soon. He is in good spirits, and very
cooperative with the nurses. He hates
the medicine for the acetaminophen, but chokes it down when they give it to
him. Bill had friends and family
visiting him all day. He is not eating
very much, but the nurses do not seem concerned. He is happy that he is able to drink as much
water and juice as he wants, and still jokingly suspects that Ann and Nancy
were holding back on his rations when he was at the house. Leave it to Bill to
start conjuring up conspiracy theories about his water rations…
Jan
26: I leave work early
to go to the hospital; I still have not been able to get the Will and POA
documents signed because we have not had access to a Notary. I am told that there is a Notary available at
the hospital from 9 AM to 5 PM during the week.
When I get there Bill is asleep.
They took him into surgery that morning to insert the catheter for the
dialysis machine, and they drained the fluid from his abdomen. I hang out with Bill for a few hours, but he
is in and out of consciousness. Ann is
also there for most of the day, but not much is going on.
Jan
27: I came over to the
hospital after a meeting in DC that morning and Bill was very alert and in good
spirits. We got one of the nurses, who
is a Notary, and Bill signed all the documents.
Later another nurse came by with a portable dialysis machine and hooked
Bill up. He was only on the machine for
about 30 minutes that first day; they say more than that would be too much of a
shock to the system. The treatment will
not only filter out his blood, but it will help to remove all the excess fluid
that has been building up in his abdomen and his legs.
The dialysis nurse was very nice and encouraged
us to ask questions about the treatment.
Bill and I were both fascinated by the machine and how it works. When
describing the treatment the nurse told us the catheter that they installed
goes from the jugular vein in his neck, all the way down into his heart. We both cringed; we did not suspect that is
how it worked. When the nurse saw our
reaction, she asked “too much information?” We both nodded our heads at the same
time.
Bill seemed to feel pretty good and was much
more lucid than yesterday, although the dialysis wore him out. For me, knowing that they were doing
something that would help him, the dialysis, lifted my spirits and gave me
hope.
Jan
28: I got a call from
Dr. Levinson as I was on my way home from work.
She wanted to talk to all of us about Bill’s condition and wanted to
know when I could get there. I hurried
directly to the hospital. Nancy and Dan, Ann and Roger, and I were all there
and Dr. Levinson told us that Bill’s condition is getting worse. The bleeding is occurring again and his
kidney and liver functions are shutting down.
She told us what the options are, but basically did not give us much
hope and said we need to think about making him comfortable. This is a big shock.
We visit Bill for a while and he is not very
aware of what is going on and spends most of the time asleep. Dad and Molly will be coming up tomorrow and
we figure we can talk about it with them.
It is hard to believe that so much can change in one day.
Jan
29: I got to the
hospital late in the afternoon and Dad and Molly were there. They said he has been sleeping most of the
time and is not responsive when he he looked. The main problem was he was
bleeding so much. He had so many holes
in him from all the IVs, blood tests, etc. and he was bleeding out of all of
them. He was a mess. The plasma they were giving him could not do
the job to coagulate his blood.
We met with Dr. Kim that evening and he told
us what we already knew. Bill was
getting worse, and would soon have to be hooked back up to all the life support
in order to survive. He told us that he
really did not have a chance to make it long-term, and said that we could move
him to hospice care in which he would be sedated and made comfortable. In the ICU, Bill is constantly poked, prodded,
and monitored which is not real comforting.
Hospice care could be done at the hospital, at
his home, or at an external hospice facility.
Dr. Kim said Bill would not survive more that a few days in hospice
care. We decided that it would be best
to move him to hospice care in the hospital.
Dr. Kim told us he would be moved some time on Friday. We all are having a hard time dealing with
this decision, we have been faced with it before but with Bill doing so well
last week it does not seem fair.
Jan
30: I went to the
hospital in the morning and met up with Dad and Molly. Bill’s condition obviously had not changed,
he was unconscious. We were waiting for him to be moved out of ICU and into a
regular room. Doug Watts stopped by and
we told him what was going on.
Bill was moved early that evening. We were told he would be in a private room if
they had one available, and when we got there he had a roommate, which was a
disappointment. Bill looked peaceful and
he was being taken care of. We said
goodbye to him and then we went and had a nice dinner at a restaurant nearby
the hospital. Seeing Bill in the new
room without any machines or monitors connected to him made it sink in that he
was not going to get better, but it did make him look more comfortable. We thought we would have him at least for a
couple more days.
Jan
31: I went to the
hospital that afternoon. I was just
entering the parking lot at 1 PM when I got a call from Roger, and he told me
that Bill had just passed away. I told
Roger I would be right there. I called
Dad and Molly, since they had come to the hospital that morning to say goodbye
to Bill before driving back to Pinehurst.
I told them the news. I then went
up to Bill’s room, when I got there Roger was there and Melissa and Joon were
there too.
During the next 30 minutes or so there were
several friends and family members who came in to say goodbye to Bill. They all had planned to come and visit, not
thinking Bill would already be gone. I
think all of us thought we would have Bill for a couple more days. I just wish
we had told him he would have so many visitors.
Later that afternoon, after making
arrangements for Bill, we decided to go to the hospital cafeteria and get
something to eat. Ann was on her way to
the hospital so we would wait for her there.